"He may be mad, but there's method in his madness. There nearly always is method in madness. It's what drives men mad, being methodical."

"All slang is a metaphor, and all metaphor is poetry."

"By a curious confusion, many modern critics have passed from the proposition that a masterpiece may be unpopular to the other proposition that unless it is unpopular it cannot be a masterpiece."

"Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong deisre to live taking the form of a readiness to die."

"Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist."

"Journalism largely consists of saying 'Lord Jones is Dead' to people who never knew that Lord Jones was alive."

"It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us."

"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays."

"To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition."

"I am an atheist, myself. A simple faith, but a great comfort to me, in these last days."

"Religion is about turning untested belief into unshakeable truth through the power of institutions and the passage of time."

"You've got your phenomenon on one hand. Concrete and knowable. On the other hand you've got the incomprehensible. You call it God, but to me, God or no, it remains just that, the unknowable."